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令人誠惶誠恐的考試季節又來臨了!各位可能已考完試,可能正在考試,可能快要考試,又或者你們的子女是這樣。不管如何,下列的考試語錄(全都是莘莘學子在網上的肺腑之言),各位有否共鳴?
若沒有考試,有多少人會打開書溫習呢?一位考生便利用牛頓定律打趣道:According to Newton's 4th Law of Exams, every book will continue to be at rest or covered with dust until some external or internal exam moves it(根據牛頓考試第四定律,每本書會繼續靜止或塵封,直至有外在或內在的考試移動它)。原來的是牛頓運動第一定律,它大致說:an object will continue to be at rest until some external force moves it(一件物體會繼續靜止,直至有外力移動它)。
人腦真奇妙 考時才停頓
然而,不管怎麼溫習,打開考卷還是覺得不懂的居多呢。有大學生便歸咎運氣:80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed or the one topic you didn't read(八成期終考的內容,都是有關你錯過了的那堂課,或你沒讀過的那個題目)。有人則無奈說:The human brain is amazing. It functions 24 hours for 365 days. It functions right from the time we were born and only stops when we take exams(人腦真奇妙,它365天24小時都運作。它自我們出生起便運作,只在我們考試時才停頓)。
「我希望有2G卡助考」
一到考試,大家便渴望有無限記憶力。有人便慨嘆:It's amazing how I still remember the lyrics of an old song, but I can't remember the things I studied the night before exam(真奇妙,我怎麼依然記得一首老歌的歌詞,卻無法記得考試前一晚溫習過的東西)。電腦世代,有人便忽發奇想:I wish I could fit a 2GB memory card in my brain for exam(我多希望可以把一塊2GB的記憶卡植入我的腦袋中助我考試)。有人更從而悟出人生道理:I wish I could forget all the bad times in my life like I forget everything I have studied seconds before an exam(我多希望可以忘掉生命中一切難受的時候,就像我在考試前數秒忘掉溫習過的一切東西)。
很多人則依然花費/浪費許多時光在Facebook上呢。於是有人在「臉書」上提醒大家:Exams + Facebook = your face is in the wrong book(考試+臉書=你的臉在錯誤的書上)!Anyway, good luck and enjoy your exams! ■余 功
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